So, on Sunday, December 4th, the extreme fishermen left the barn. After finally getting the boat back (after Hurricane Irene dropped a tree on her), we were itching to get back on the water.

What a beautiful day! Warm weather, calm winds, and great company made our trip seem like something right out of a Bud Light commercial. (I love you, man. But you’re not getting my Bud!)

What could possibly go wrong? Or, as Todd likes to ask (usually right as the black clouds are building and the first lightning strikes are hitting), “What’s the worst that can happen?!”

Well, on the one hand, the weather was nice. Did I mention that the weather was nice? Well, my mother taught me that if I don’t have anything nice to say, talk about the weather. Which, by the way, was nice.

So, what went wrong? We went fishing. That’s probably what started it. Did you know that Chuck Norris never fishes? Fishing implies the possiblity of failure, and Chuck Norris doesn’t fail. We, however, did not have Chuck on the boat with us.

We headed out to the Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel (CBBT), and started trolling. We trolled every lure in my considerable tacklebox. We tried different depths. We scraped right along the pilings. To no avail.

The depthfinder was lit up like a house on the Tacky Lights Tour, but in spite of the incredible size of the biomass beneath us, nothing down there would open its mouth to sample our offerings. And per the chatter on the radio, no one else was having any luck, either. In fact, we heard the guys who were fishing with live eels over the tunnels (almost always a guaranteed way to catch big stripers) say they weren’t doing anything other than drowning the eels. Which is an interesting imagery since they breathe underwater. But that’s not the point. The point was nobody was doin’ nuthin’.

Sometimes fishing is about being in the right place at the right time. Well, we fished all day and all night in a bunch of different places. We covered a lot of places and times. Apparently none of them were right.

I would love for a marine biologist to explain to me how the acres and tons (literally) of fish we were marking could all go for a full day without feeding. Incoming tide and outgoing…they all had lockjaw. It seems an impossibility to me, or it would if we weren’t actually living it.

But…the weather was nice.

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